pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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