not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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