it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
