Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
