people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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