He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
