I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
