I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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