we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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