I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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