it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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