Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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