You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
