you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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