When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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