i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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