I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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