i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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