Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
