Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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