wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
