Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
