One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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