So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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