Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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