it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
