I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
