I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
