It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize