Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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