this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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