I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
