i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
