glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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