yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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