I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
