She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
