he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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