All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
