As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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