Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
