hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
