wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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