I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
