We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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