So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize