im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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