how can u be prego again
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
