It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
