One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
