What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
