It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
