you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
