I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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