Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize