I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
