can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
