their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When are your genitals available?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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