Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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