Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
