you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
